Insights and Inspiration
Welcome to the Julie Sitomer's (licensed therapist) blog, your source for expert insights and inspiring stories on women's mental health. Explore articles on postpartum, pregnancy, anxiety, depression, and menopause. We're here to support you on your journey to well-being. Discover helpful tips and relatable experiences that empower you to take charge of your mental health. We hope you'll find value in our content and reach out to schedule an appointment if you're feeling similarly.
The Mental Load of Motherhood
What Is the Mental Load?
The mental load is the invisible, ongoing work of managing your home, relationships, and family needs - the thinking, planning, anticipating, and remembering that happens even when you're resting. It can make you feel constantly 'on' or unable to relax.
Common Signs You’re Carrying Too Much:
• Feeling constantly tense or alert
• Irritability or resentment toward loved ones
• Difficulty concentrating or relaxing
• Fatigue and sleep problems
• Guilt for not 'doing enough'
Reflection: What Feels Heavy?
Take a few moments to reflect on what’s weighing most heavily on your mind. Write freely no need to censor or organize your thoughts.
■ What thoughts or tasks are taking up space in your mind right now?
■ Which of these truly need your attention today - and which could wait or be shared?
Lightning the Load
• Use shared calendars or to-do lists to get tasks out of your head.
• Ask for help - and let others take full ownership of tasks.
• Aim for 'good enough' parenting, not perfection.
• Take 10-minute rest breaks or breathwork pauses.
• Use gentle self-talk: 'I’m doing my best. My needs matter too.'
Exercise: What Can I Let Go Of?
Circle or write down 2–3 things you can release this week. These could be unrealistic expectations, small tasks, or emotional burdens.
Affirmations to Remember
• I am doing my best, and that is enough.
• I don’t need to earn rest.
• My needs matter too.
• It’s okay to ask for help.
• I am not alone in this journey.
Resources for Support
• Postpartum Support International
• Book: 'Fair Play' by Eve Rodsky
• Comic: 'The Mental Load' by Emma
• Local or online new mom support groups